Friday, July 30, 2010,7:55 AM
memories.
I don't like it when all the bad memories, or the embarrassing moments find a way to sneak into a my thoughts. It was hard living down those moments from that time, and it still hasn't reached the point where I can just simply look back and laugh.
They still hurt.
Especially when I think about my first love, my kind of love, and my should have been love, or whatever love.
I always tell myself that everything happens for a reason (and it DOES), but on my human nature, I just think about it and forget what's happening right now. And then I just... drown.
Drown in my own memories. I came across a word yesterday, "saudade" and completely defines the feelings that I were feeling the night before.
You know, it didn't work out between us but I can't help but think what if it did? What kind of person would I be, or dare to be? I won't deny that we had so much fun, and my love was there. I won't pretend I never felt it.
Or if I didn't do what I did, or say what I wanted, I could of easily avoided that embarrassing moment.
Sigh.
Luckily for me, I have a God that knew how I felt, and when I prayed and prayed that night... I felt so much better the next morning. I think about the thoughts I thought about before, and it doesn't phase me.
(I basically wrote this because I really miss my ex-boyfriend's mom, and then all these memories started djkladlas freaking out on me)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010,9:55 AM
irony.
you taught me how to stand up for myself.
and you also taught me not to take anyone's crap.
you said i should stop being a pushover, and voice my opinions more.
thanks, i've finally learned how.
now i don't have to take
your crap anymore.
ironic, huh?
Saturday, July 17, 2010,7:53 PM
some people are really, really, really, really annoying.
like everytime they say something, i kind of shudder.
and it's like.. i try not to think of the person as annoying..
BUT THEY COMPLAIN 24/7.
yikes. get some constitution?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010,7:53 AM
The Desert Song
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow
Sunday, July 11, 2010,8:27 AM
I feel better.
All I needed was some Jesus loving.
Can't believe I forgot. Always go to God first whenever I feel down, He'll help me.
And so, my mother and I have a mutual understanding of each other now after a talk. Adult to adult. Yeeeeee.
Feels good to be mature about something :3
Thursday, July 8, 2010,8:05 AM
tired of you.
"Go ahead! You can pack up and leave tomorrow if you want,"
idk how many times you've used that line on me. i think you said it well over 50 times throughout my life. you always say that to me whenever i put someone else into consideration. and you say it cause you know i won't leave, and you know it makes me feel bad.
but you know what? i will pack up and leave -- soon. i will, soon enough. i will leave and you're going to regret saying that. maybe it's going to be easier on me since i'll be 18 next month... but i promise you i'm going to leave.
hopefully one day you'll swallow down your own pride and get over it. forgive your ex best friend, and forgive your older sister. you need to ask for help from your family, who are COMPLETELY willing to help you, but you don't want to ask for help.
you can't just ask my boyfriend when he's minding his own life. he has things to do. i'd help you in a heartbeat if i had a car, i would.
don't you DARE say i wouldn't.
you constantly assume the worst of me and i'm tired of it. i know teenagers say this all the time, but i'm freaking serious.
i always wonder if i should let my children meet you.
Sunday, July 4, 2010,8:09 AM
Happy Independence Day!
I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed day. I was a bit sad last year because I didn't have a special someone to celebrate with. This was my time of depression & me not caring for much anymore. I remember gently wishing upon the fireworks (because they looked like millions of stars) for some good luck! Then the next day happened . . .
Why don't you try to wish a little wish this year?I used to compare myself to fireworks.
Flashy, bright, exciting, and beautiful... but after only an instant, it's gone.
Saturday, July 3, 2010,11:02 AM
Explain the logic to me, cause I don't effing get it.
So when my sisters get an F, it's okay, as long as they "do better next time."
But if I get a B, it's all me and my boyfriend's fault because we like to spend time together and suddenly my education is going to drop because I'm going to have sex and get pregnant in the next 24 hours. Oh don't forget my A's! My 5 A's don't mean crap unless it's 6. Thanks so much, love you too!
wtfe.SCREW YOU.
（￣へ￣）fufufuf.
Thursday, July 1, 2010,9:49 PM
thanks erika <3
"You give us hope & positivity about love!"
Everyone thinks we're so lucky, and so ideal. I want to say thank you to everyone who's ever complimented me on our relationship.
In fact, I sometimes hear, "Jenn, you're lucky! My relationship will never be like yours!"
My boyfriend and I truly appreciate all the comments!!
I just want to say, one day you'll find your Mr/Mrs. Right & it'll be perfect because it's
your relationship. You'll go through ups & downs, but it'll be worth it because of the time and nurture
you put in it.
You don't have to expect a perfect relationship, because when you love someone so much, flaws become perfection.
So, instead of looking at my relationship... look at your own! (:
"You two make a beautiful couple."
this post is specially dedicated to two young, beautiful, lovers.
you can do it, lovelies. look towards each other & most importantly
to God in all you do. Everything falls into place, wonderfully.
you need not to compare your relationship to others.
(you know who this is for<3).
